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Saturday, January 31, 2009

V-Wonder: Is this quote dumb?

Stories are sometimes interesting, but some stories you tell, and some stories you don't. I'm just gonna skip the details and provide the essence:

"What God put together, let no man take it apart"
*direct quotations from a person*

Personally, this statement is totally going to my archive of "Dumbest Quotes Ever". I have nothing against God. In fact, I bet God did not even come out with this dumb quote. I believe it was uttered by a human being, claiming to possess wisdom n extra merits in church activities.

Com'on look at this fact...

What does God naturally put together? --
I won't want to be too technical with human anatomy terms, so: "VIRGINITY"

and, let no man take it apart?
The human race would cease to exists!! + NO life pleasure!!!

Consider these:
1. Fruit skins (you'll be dead if u're eating durian)
2. Shelled food
3. Vasectomy/Tubectomy
4. Unusual cases of conjoined testicles
5. Pregnancy and delivery
6. Dentistry
7. Overgrown stuff (i.e. hair - pubic, nostril, facial; grass)
8. Circumcision
9. I'm out for now..

Monday, January 26, 2009

Premium 97 octane knowledge for DUDES..

In any occasion/event, every dude wants the hottest chick. So, you might be thinking, "Well, my nose doesn't bleed when I get an erection, so I might stand a chance."

That's where you crash n burn.

Strategy? Your target should be the second-hottest chick. While others bend over backwards to score with the first-hottest chick, you have your own leeway with the second-hottest chick. Her natural jealousy over the first-hottest chick, which has been simmering in her small-but-attractive breasts since her walk-in entry will make her an absolute maniac in bed.

If you miss the second-hottest chick, immediately initiate your system of mental triage. Scan the room for identical dresses, and prioritize them in order of hotness.

-- written from observation, feedback & logical reasoning.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Text is superior than Voice (mobile phone usage)

Alright..pep talk..

I came up with this hypothesis - text is far superior than voice when it comes to meaning something. (WARNING - this does not apply to booty calls, unless it's really really late at night and you're not sober enough to make a call)

A text is usually read with your eyes, whispered with your lips, and down to the heart; while a voice travels from an ear, PROBABLY to the brain, and mostly out the other side.

Socio-scientifically, when you read, you tend to create your own tone that please yourself and you understand it at your own pace.

However, when you listen to a voice, the voice (may be accompanied by noise) doesn't really connect with you most of the time - either too monotonous or out of tone (differs with great speakers though) and usually not at your pace.

Ok, to prove this theory. Try reciting this poem to your loved one through phone:

"All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee me." - (Sonnet 43)

"Huh? what you talking about?" ---> ( - . - )" ' *sigh*

Ha, fumble as presumed.. now, try sending as text. Your significant other should understand it better.

Yet again, Shakespeare is tough. But you guys probably get what I mean =) because it's "text".

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Increasing Car Resale Value and Good Buy on Used Vehicle

Selling Your Car

  • Body works – repair dents, scratches, chips and rust marks; do not forget the bumpers and lights. Ensure that every component is working well. Get the engine checked out.

  • Window dressing – cleanliness and hygiene count. Clean the upholstery to remove stains and odours. Vacuum and shake out the mats. Wash and polish the car and tyres.

  • Paperwork – have all your service records on hand to show potential buyers that certain parts have already been replaced.

Buying a Used Car

Felt that a deal was just too good to be true? Sometimes good bargains have loads of fine print that can cost you:

  • Extra charges – check that you are not paying extra for standard equipment, like air conditioning. Do not let the dealer add features such as power steering without your knowledge – and then charge you for them. Even processing fees can be hiked up, so be wary.

  • Old news – a so-called brand new car may be a showroom vehicle that has been test-driven hundreds of times or a soon-to-be-replaced model.

  • Trading places – be wary of trade-ins – the dealer might give you a good price for your old car, but hike up the price of the new one.

  • Find out what each dealer is offering. Choose a reputable dealer. If you feel pressured or if you are handed a bunch of numbers, tell the dealer you will return after digesting all the information. Note down their verbal promises, so they know you will hold them of their word.

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