V-Wonder: Is this quote dumb?

Stories are sometimes interesting, but some stories you tell, and some stories you don't. I'm just gonna skip the details and provide the essence:

"What God put together, let no man take it apart"
*direct quotations from a person*

Personally, this statement is totally going to my archive of "Dumbest Quotes Ever". I have nothing against God. In fact, I bet God did not even come out with this dumb quote. I believe it was uttered by a human being, claiming to possess wisdom n extra merits in church activities.


Com'on look at this fact...

What does God naturally put together? --
I won't want to be too technical with human anatomy terms, so: "VIRGINITY"

and, let no man take it apart?
The human race would cease to exists!! + NO life pleasure!!!

Consider these:
1. Fruit skins (you'll be dead if u're eating durian)
2. Shelled food
3. Vasectomy/Tubectomy
4. Unusual cases of conjoined testicles
5. Pregnancy and delivery
6. Dentistry
7. Overgrown stuff (i.e. hair - pubic, nostril, facial; grass)
8. Circumcision
9. I'm out for now..

What Do Idiots Do?

~IDIOT~

"In modern English usage, the terms "idiot" and "idiocy" describe
an extreme folly or stupidity, its symptoms (foolish or stupid utterance or deed)"

"In psychology, it is a historical term for the state or condition
now called profound mental retardation"

Analyse the points below to know if you really are an IDIOT...

1. You spend half an hour looking at an orange juice box because it said, 'CONCENTRATED'.
   
   
2. You put lipstick on your forehead because you wanted to makeup your mind.
   
   
3. You get stabbed in a shoot-out.
   
   
4. You send a fax with a stamp on it.
   
   
5. You try to drown a fish.
   
   
6. When someone money-tips you for your intelligence, you give them their change.
   
   
7. You trip over a cordless phone.
   
   
8. You take a ruler/measuring tape to bed to see how long you sleep.
   
   
9. At the bottom of the application where it says "SIGN HERE", you put "AQUARIUS".
   
   
10. You take 2 hours to watch "60 Minutes".
    
    
11. You invent a solar powered torchlight.
    
    
12. You are aware that 90% of all crimes occur at home, so you move/shift houses.
    
    
13. You missed the No. 14 Bus, and take the No. 7 Bus TWICE instead.
    
    
14. You are at the express way driving to the airport and see a sign that said, "Airport Left". You make a 'U-Turn' and go home.
    
    
15. You got locked in a furniture shop, but sleeps on the floor.
    
    
16. Finally, you spend time reading through the above 15 points, convincing yourself that you did not do any of them.

GOTCHA~ IDIOT!

V-Wonder: When to Get Married?

Since last weekend was my cousin's wedding,
so I'll share some thoughts on when to get married.

"Seeing the newly wed going from table to table toasting,
and people shouting their lungs out -
"YYAAAAMMMM *takes a deep breath* AAMMM SEEEENGGG!!!!"

(chinese way of toasting)

and

the groom bottoms-up his glass..."

~I began to worry~

It's not that I'm old, and should already be married,
it's just that whenever alcohol runs through my body system,
NO, I don't get extremely high/drunk...

...but I'll get really red and really really red.

Yeap~ something like this, but not TOO HoRny~ ;)

Enough said...

When to Get Married??

1. Your girlfriend asks you to keep the 19th of September 2008 free.
   
   
2. Your girlfriend's father is making hints with a shotgun.
   
   
3. Your girlfriend attends every friend's wedding banquet just to catch the bouquet of flower.
   
   
4. You have been engaged for six years, and you still live with your mother.
   
   
5. Your parents start playing with baby dolls again, making funny baby talks to the doll.
   
   
6. All your colleagues show up with at least 3 kids when you meet up at your college reunion dinner.
   
   
7. If you are a guy, you are ready to inherit a disease called "onegina". If you are a lady, "onewenis".
   
   
8. If you are a guy, you are ready to purchase 4 types of "Ring" - engagement ring, wedding ring, suffe-ring, and endu-ring.
   
   
9. You have overseen the excitement of marriage life, in which the 1st year, the man speaks and the woman listens; the 2nd year, the woman speaks and the man listens; and the 3rd year, you both speaks and the neighbour listens.
   
   
10. Despite of all above, the both of you are still in love... Awww~

*sniff*sniff* I smell something... It smells like....

Still, it's nice seeing two loving people on their wedding day.

!!Congratulations to ALL Newly-Weds!!
*SINCERELY*

V-Wonder: When to Have Kids?

You know it's time to procreate (to multiply) when :

1. Your dog is called David and he's fed at the dining room table.
   
   
   (David~ Say grace)
   
   
   
2. You spend more time at your sister's place - the one with the two-year-old.
   
   
   (More milk please~)
   
   
   
3. Your wife has been storing the condoms in her sewing kit.
   

Probably the biggest decision in your life is to have, or not to have kids. The second biggest decision is when to have them. Apart from the obvious need to have a willing mother, the other potential stumbling block in MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!!

By the time a child reaches the age of 18, he or she will have cost the equivalent of a new Porsche 911 Turbo.


Besides the financial commitment, consider the impact it will have on your social life, your job and your relationship before thrusting into that world. (pun intended...LoL)

Looking at the bright side, well, you imagine it yourself...

!!17 KIDS!!
.:Download PPS SlideShow:.

Love Children~
in conjunction with Universal Children's Day - 20 November
.:Sign Petition:.

V-Wonder #2

Put your thinking cap on and ponder for just a moment...

• Who tastes dog food when it has a "New & Improved" flavour?
• Why Noah did not just swat those two darn mosquitoes?
• Why they sterilise the needle for lethal injections?
• Why they do not make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
• Why sheep do not shrink when it rains?
• Why they are called 'Apartments' when they are all stuck together?
• Why if con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?
• Why if flying is so safe, do they call the airport "the terminal"?
• Why the ime of the day with the slowest traffic is called the "rush hour"?
  

V-Wonder #1

Put your thinking cap on and ponder for just a moment...

• Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

• Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

• Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

• Why "abbreviated" is such a long darn word?

• Why all doctors call what they do "practice"?

• Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows?

• Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

• Why the man who invest all your money is called a broker?

• Why there isn't mouse-flavoured cat food?

More to come...stay tuned...